Right & Wrong

Children of divorce often have problems in their own marriages, because they didn't have a workable pattern to copy. 
They just don't know how to read the compass to tell which path is best for their marriage. 
And often the children of divorce are the most sure they are right. I have seen this behavior. 

But just because someone knows what's wrong, doesn't mean they know what's right. 
There are a few wys to be right, but many, many ways to be wrong.
What seems to be the exact opposite of a terribly wrong may, not be perfectly right; it may just be another type of wrong. 

Imagine a family who lived on the equator, whose lifelong goal was to see the North Pole. 
They traveled west on the equator, but never reached the North Pole. They failed. 

Their children grew up. 
One adult child decided to continue that quest, but after her parents' failure, she took a different approach. 
She decide to travel east...on the same latitude. 
She is doing almost opposite of her parents, yet she is also bound to fail. 

Ironically, if she had turned 90 degrees of her parents travel, either north or south, she would succeeded. 
(though going north would have been a shorter trip.)

If you are an adult child of divorce, now married, you may not know your head from a hole in the ground about having a good marriage. 
You may need two or three long-married mentors (of both genders) to give you feedback on your marriage. 
And let your spouse be heard.
The loudest people are often the most wrong. 

 Eric J. Rose