Children of Divorce

Children of divorce often have problems in their own marriages, because they didn't have a workable pattern to imitate. 

They just don't know how to read a compass to tell which path is best for their marriage. 
And often the children of divorce are the most sure they are right. I have seen this behavior. 

But just because someone knows what's wrong, doesn't mean they know what's right. 
There are often a few ways to be right, but many, many more ways to be wrong. 

What seems to be the exact opposite of a terrible wrong, may not be perfectly right; it may just be another type of wrong. 

Imagine a family who lived on the equator, whose lifelong goal was to see the North Pole. 
They traveled west on the equator, but never reached the North Pole. They failed. 
Their children grew up. 
One child, upon becoming an adult, decided to continue that quest, but after her parents' failure, she took the opposite approach. 
She traveled east instead of west...on the same latitude. 

She is doing the very opposite of her parents, yet she also failed.
Ironically, if she had turned 90 degrees of her parents travel, either north or south, she would have succeeded. 
(though going north would have been a shorter trip.) 

If you are an adult child of divorce, you likely know more about bad marriages than you know about having a good marriage. 
You may need two or three long-married mentors (of both genders) to give you feedback on your marriage. 
And let your spouse be heard. 

The loudest people are often the most wrong. 

 Eric J. Rose